I Increased My Calories, and Here’s What Happened

When I reluctantly began calorie counting in December 2019, my goal calorie range was between 1400 and 1600 calories. Unfortunately, over the course of the month, I didn’t lose weight quickly in that calorie range. In fact, I didn’t lose any weight at all! (I increased my calories despite not losing at 1400-1600 calories…intrigued?)

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I was eating that low , based on Noom’s suggestion for “fast” weight loss. But rather than seeing the scale drop, my weight was holding steady, and here’s why: I would eat within my “allowed” calorie range 4-5 days of the week, workout in the SWEAT app 4-6 days throughout the week, and run 3 times per week. By Friday I was STARVING. Not just starving, but filled with uncontrollable desires for terrible food. 

I felt I had no self-control

My husband would order a pizza for the family, and instead of eating my one planned slice, I would end up furiously eating so many pieces that I would lose count.  After my feast, I would take a long hard look at my greasy little face in the mirror and come to the ashamed conclusion that I just didn’t have any self control. 

I grew impatient and frustrated with myself. Anytime I actually made any progress on the scale, I’d lose control with my eating and have to fight like heck to get it back. I constantly felt deprived and my weight fluctuated like crazy with each binge I encountered in an attempt to satisfy my hunger. You can clearly see the roller coaster I was stuck on looking at my weight graph below.

The Weight Graph:

Desperation prompts me to take a chance

Then in early January, I discussed my frustration over my lack of progress with a dear friend of mine, and she had a novel, scary idea. She suggested I eat more calories – the ultimate diet culture oxymoron. It’s mind-boggling to the foodie in me that anyone would need convincing to eat more, but when it comes to weight loss, the fear of more is real. 

After much discussion and fence sitting, it came to my knowledge that another friend of mine had managed to lose 10 pounds last year while simply trying to maintain her weight by, guess what? Yep, eating 2000 calories a day! The nerve! She was consistently eating 2000 calories a day and doing the same workouts as me. But she dropped weight without trying, while I tried desperately yet lost nothing. Boy, did I feel like a chump! Why am I over here starving, when she is over there eating loads of food and desserts daily?

Maybe Eating More isn’t such a bad idea after alL…

Eating more now had my attention, and I relented. I told my first friend I would try it out, and she happily got to work coming up with a new, higher calorie range for me. The key, she said, was consistency – consistency over time would yield huge results.

She told me to commit to tracking everything I ate. I mean EVERYTHING, even on days I completely blew my calorie count out of the water. It seemed like a strange request at the time, but at that point I felt I had nothing to lose and said screw it, I’m in! Thus, my journey down the high-calorie weight loss road began.

And she consistently lost weight and lived happily ever after…not!

Let me tell ya, I started logging consistently and my weight loss graph was STILL a mess. In hindsight, I can clearly see I had inadvertently trained my body into an undesirable eating rhythm. I’d cycle from exercising self control for a few days, and then uncontrollably overeat.

I had to break a habit I didn’t even realize I’d formed through all my years of failed diets. I had to consciously train myself to not fall apart every fifth day. It was hard at first, but I tracked my food diligently like I told my friend I would. Here is a sample of my early-on days of eating and tracking higher calories:

Date	Calories Consumed
January 22	1935
January 23	2861
January 24	2128
January 25	1840
January 26	2379
January 27	2126
January 28	1944
January 29	3132
January 30	2436
January 31	2017

Wow.

The inconsistency! This is what I call the learning curve, because at this point I still had no idea how to put together a “higher calorie day.” My body still requested the splurge it had grown so accustomed to every few days, and I gave in out of habit and comfort.

You can see, however, right after my splurge on January 29th, that I reel it in quickly. Scary quickly! How did I do that? Even at the time I was impressed with how quickly I bounced back. I am not a one-and-done splurger. I’m a professional, and drag that splurge out at least another 4 more days.

So why didn’t I drag it out this time?

I’ll tell you why – I was no longer flat-out starving leading up to my splurge! Not only was I not starving, but I felt satisfied. Also, I had the strong hand of the friend who put me on the slow road pulling me through. She kept me steady, and as time went on, I naturally lost the desire to binge and broke my habit of splurging relatively quickly. Here is a sampling of my tracked calories a mere month later:

Date	Calories Consumed
February 25	1833
February 26	1964
February 27	1990
February 28	1931
February 29	1869
March 1	1719
March 2	1740
March 3	1828
March 4	1902
March 5	1872

What a difference a month of consistency, accountability, and patience can make! Guys, had I not told my friend I was going to stick with it, I would have quit after those first 8 days. Had she not kept chiming in daily telling me to stay the course, I would have been like, “See ya!”

I only kept going because I gave my friend my word I would, and she fully expected me to. Plus, I knew the slow road worked for someone else, and it would work for me, too.  I just had to TRUST the process. I was tired of being hungry, tired of the binge cycle, and tired of not seeing progress. Something had to change.  So, despite the dieting roller coaster I experienced in January, I stayed the course.

Learn from your mistakes

Not only did I stay the course, but I started learning and adjusting. I figured out a new rhythm of eating, and found ways to eat all the foods I loved while still losing weight. My desire to splurge every week was fading more and more as time went on. The longer I kept with it, the more pounds I lost. I felt content, satisfied, and happy with my situation, and it blew my mind every day.

Up to this point, I thought dieting was supposed to be miserable. I thought my life had to go on hold while I struggled to lose weight until I reached my goal, because only then could I eat foods I actually enjoyed again. Turns out I had been wrong about dieting all my life. Once I got the hang of it, the weight was consistently coming off at a rate of 0.75-1 lb each week.

I was down almost 15 pounds since I’d started!

Though I was consistent, I wasn’t perfect. I still splurged and struggled from time to time. Over the Fourth of July I had my worst eating free-for-all since the beginning of the year. For some reason I struggled to log my food and make smart choices. It was almost like I had reverted into my old self again. At the end of the four day smorgasbord here is what my weight graph did:

That 6 pound “gain” mentally defeated me. I was not sure I could overcome it. The devil on my shoulder told me to restrict my calories to 1200-1400/day “just for a few days” to get the weight off quickly, and, boy, was I tempted. I wasn’t sure I could mentally handle devoting the next 6 weeks to getting back where I was before the holiday.

I went back and forth, but ultimately decided to accept the consequences of my actions and continue on the slow road. The slow road had been good to me, and was crucial in breaking the deprivation-binge cycle I knew I’d be heading for if I went to that lower calorie range…even for just a few days. “Head down and carry on” is what my supportive, smart friend always says, so I did just that. I got back to work. 

The slow road worked once more…albeit slowly!

It took me TWENTY-EIGHT days to get back to my pre-Fourth of July weight. I was pleased it wasn’t six weeks like I was expecting. But spending a month re-losing weight I had patiently lost was yet another learning moment for me. I realized that while diet breaks were needed and a splurge meal here or there wouldn’t cause harm, a full four days off track could cause serious damage.

I made a mental note to only go totally off the rails when it was truly worth it, and to never again splurge for 4 days straight. July the Fourth will now be a new independence day celebration for me as the day I freed myself from binging for the sake of holidays or special occasions. Now I think twice before indulging. 

Time to Get Serious

Here’s where things get really fun for me. I was back to my pre-Fourth of July weight by the beginning of August, and was more committed than ever to my weight-loss quest. It was time to start analyzing my calorie logs and weigh-ins, looking for trends and correlation. It was time for this history major, who’s least favorite subject is science, to put on my lab coat. I was going to conduct an experiment on myself and properly scrutinize the data I collected.

Calorie Average and Total Pounds Lost

After July 4th, I decided to never miss logging even a bite of food in my tracker moving forward. Not because I had grown obsessive, but because I was curious. Since February, I had been trying to eat 1800-2000 calories, and was averaging a steady loss. I wanted to know the highest number of calories I could eat, exactly, and still lose weight. 

1800 calories a day

The data would be analyzed in around 4-week chunks. I took all my calories from July 5-August 2nd and added them all together. Then I divided that number by the total number of days – in this case, 29 – to get my daily calorie average for the 4 weeks. Turns out I consumed an average of 1869 calories per day for 29 days, and looking at my weight loss chart for that same 29 day time span, I had lost a total of 4.4 pounds. 

I was fascinated! I felt like that was an incredible rate of loss – 1.1 lbs a week – for eating so many calories. Not only was I impressed with the significant, consistent weight loss, but more importantly, I didn’t struggle with splurging, feeling left out, or being hungry the entire month… for the most part, anyway. There were days I ate like an idiot, but I was able to keep it under control and balance it out. Overall, I nailed it those 29 days.

2000 calories a day

I decided to calculate and compare another month of calorie intake and corresponding weight loss. This time I wanted to see the rate at which I lost weight eating closer to 2000 calories per day. At the end of the next 28 days of meticulous tracking (August 2nd-August 30), I averaged 2025 calories consumed per day.

Here’s the crazy part: I still lost an average of one pound per week! WHAT?!?! I was completely flabbergasted. Why did I ever believe sickeningly low calories was the only way to achieving weight loss success? Why did I think I had to be miserable and eat foods I hated when I dieted? Considering how active I am, why did I ever believe I couldn’t lose weight at a higher calorie intake??!?! I should have tried this sooner!

The validation these numbers gave me was incredible. It felt really good to know I had finally found the perfect daily calorie goal specific to me for long-term, sustainable weight loss. A number that no random online calculator could give me. This number was tailored to me and 100% accurate.

Long-term Weight Control

More importantly, I had found the key to long-term weight control. There is no way I will put the weight I’ve lost back on when I transition to weight maintenance, for a number of reasons: I’m not starving, I’m not miserable, I’m still living my life, I don’t dread every day, and it fits seamlessly into my life.

When I reach my goal weight, I am going to track and analyze until I know EXACTLY what my body needs to maintain. Then I will happily gobble up every last one of those delectable calories like a fat pigeon. Eating more has always been my life goal, in general, but unfortunately losing weight has been, too. But now these worlds are colliding, and I’m giddy with joy.  

In the last 6 months I have lost 20 pounds. It would be more had I not experienced the learning curve in the beginning and the set-back over the Fourth. Even with those challenges, I’m insanely happy with my results. I fully believe I would still be 20 pounds heavier and spinning my wheels had I not committed to the slow road, which allowed me to listen to and learn what my body needed and wanted to lose weight. I’m so thankful I stuck with it!

The truth about 1200-1600 calories

When people in the past would suggest to me that I try to lose weight slower, enjoy life, and eat more calories – I would simply respond “I can’t lose weight at a higher calories amount. I have a slow metabolism.” Sound familiar? Why did I assume such a bold statement about myself? Had I tried it before? Yes, for about 6 days and then I grew impatient and quit.

I wanted a quick fix, and a higher calorie intake never gave me this unreasonable, impossible result. So I’d drop my calories to some ridiculous number, and still not lose because I was always stuck in the deprivation/binge cycle. Does this sound familiar? Listen, it doesn’t matter how low your calories go during the week, if you binge eat them all back over the weekend you won’t lose weight. 

Why we feel like we have no self-control

The hungrier and more deprived you feel, the more likely you will do just that. I used to think I didn’t have self control. FALSE! I created a monster within myself that didn’t have the strength to resist because it was starving, deprived, and tired.

Yesterday I cooked bacon and didn’t eat a single piece. In the past, the very smell of bacon would be my kryptonite – my husband and I would eat an entire POUND AND A HALF in one sitting. I didn’t have room for bacon in my calories yesterday so I passed it by. No feelings of regret, FOMO, deprivation, or sadness. There is always tomorrow for bacon. Incredible. I am incredible. And so are you. This super power is within you, too. You have to let yourself eat more, eat more consistently, eat more of the foods you love. THAT is how to unleash your power. 

So what does all this mean for you? How YOU can replicate my success? 

Start with these 3 things: 

1. Stop believing everything you read about dieting.

There is no secret formula, pill you can take, detox you can do, or quick fix. Ask yourself, how many calories does MY body need to lose weight at a rate of 1 pound per week? Then commit yourself to finding the answer.

Approach your calorie intake and weigh-ins with a scientific mind, rather than an emotional mind. Experimentation and trial-and-error (especially the error part!) are your friends! Get an estimate of your calorie needs based on your unique goals online, and start tracking your daily intake and weight. From there, you’ll be able to tweak your numbers monthly so they are tailored specifically to you. 

2. Don’t let the number on the scale dictate your emotions.

Not to sound cliche, but it is truly just a number. Honestly, I am no happier at 149 than I was at 189. I am, however, no longer FRUSTRATED by my inability to succeed, or confused about why I continually fail while everyone else reaches their goals.

I know now I was just caught up in my emotions (truly this book has helped me overcome so much of my mental angst about dieting and weight loss). Then, I let people take advantage of my anguish by buying their programs that promised big results in short amounts of time, even though they didn’t fit my lifestyle at all. All the programs did was perpetuate my failure/frustration cycle.

Update 2/14/21: I have created a planner to help you lose weight like I did- by eating more. To learn more about it, check out this post.

3. Accept your current body and situation, and find happiness now.

If you accept yourself as you are, apart from the perfect pant size or ideal weight, you will gain an insane amount of patience to figure out your caloric needs properly and on your own terms. Then you won’t try to awkwardly fit your perfectly unique foot into someone else’s shoe. It’s time to take control of your own destiny and FIGURE. THIS. OUT. 

4. Get support.

I would be NOWHERE without my support group. It’s as simple as that. Find your people. I still get frustrated with the process at times. My friends know me so well they don’t even have to wait for me to complain, they simply have the right words at the right time. If you don’t have these people in real life, find them online. 

If you can’t find a proper support group, join my weight loss community “Mom’s Kids.“

Here is my entire weight graph from December to September 6th.

https://youtu.be/BYgnR4bVaxE

Let Me Sum This Up

My weight loss formula for success is simply a combination of science, some basic math, and a little brain overhaul, held together by lots of emotional support. If I can do it, you can too. I’m telling you, you can! I know you can. Calm down, take a deep breath, take a big ol’ step away from the crowd, and forge your own path as the individual you are. You’ve got this. 

Follow me on Patreon as I continue my weight loss journey.

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