The 7 Stages of Dieting

The Seven Stages of weight loss

I’ll be the first to say it…dieting sucks. Restriction sucks. Of course it’s way more fun to sit down with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, a pile of candy, and/or an entire bag of chips. Trust me, I get it. I dream of a world where I can wake up, immediately strap a feedbag of junk food to my face, and just go to town like a happy lil horse. I want to eat at least a dozen cookies and a mountain of biscuits and gravy everyday. Hence why this whole “I lost 60 pounds” thing has taken me over 4 years. If anyone gets it, I do. Weight Loss is hard.

I also get what it’s like to be overweight. I’m not even talking about the number on the scale or the reflection in the mirror. I’m talking about how it FEELS being overweight. In summer I felt hotter and sweatier. During the winter, I felt bulkier under the weight of sweaters and coats, on top of my own “natural insulation.”

Constantly feeling uncomfortable is absolutely the worst part of being overweight, in my opinion. My pants never used to fit right, regardless of brand or size. They cut into me so badly I would change into pajamas as soon as I walked in the door after work. And once the PJs were on there was basically no way I was gonna get motivated to workout, which didn’t help matters.

So What’s a person to do about weight loss?

When you’re overweight, you have 2 choices: to stay that way or to change. Each option is uncomfortable and painful in its own way, so I always chose the latter.

Because the reality is that eating decadent food in excess really only provides 5, maybe 10, minutes of pleasure – at the rate I can put it down, anyway. Then you are stuck feeling sick and bloated for the rest of the day! Perpetually feeling icky isn’t worth it to me, so despite failing along the way, I kept trying. I failed again and again, all the way to a 60-pound loss, when many people would have given up.

Through this whole process, I’ve learned dieting is a lot like grief. Not only does it cause grief, but there are several stages of dieting you need to experience and work through before you can overcome and accept it. Looking back over the last 10 years of my life, I can clearly see each stage I endured as I progressed through the complex process of weight loss.

Here are the 7 stages of weight loss

1. Shock and Denial

It all starts with that shocking moment you step on the scale and see some horrific number you never thought you’d see, or when your favorite pair of pants no longer zips. It shakes you to your core and is extremely unsettling.

For me, that moment was 6 weeks after baby number 3 was born. I was still 213 at my postpartum check-up. Yeah, that was a shock.

Then you start to rationalize it…surely the scale is broken…certainly the pants somehow shrunk. Making excuses to avoid the cold, hard reality that you, yourself, have created this situation. Thus, denying the truth that you, yourself, are also the only solution.

2. Pain and guilt

Being overweight physically hurts. Your joints might ache and your body jiggles with each workout you try on your way to get back into shape. Let’s not forget the pants, my pants used to feel like they would cut me in two. Plus I’d occasionally snag some fat as I lost the daily battle with the zipper.

The mental anguish of wondering how on earth you got this way is excruciating. You’re overcome with guilt knowing you let your condition get to the state it’s in. You know better…how did you allow this to happen?!

At one point I even apologized to my husband for the 25 pounds I’d gained after our wedding. I was so ashamed of myself I assumed he must’ve been ashamed of me, too (he wasn’t).

3. Anger and bargaining

Finally you get so fed up you decide to do something. Naturally, that something is to go on a diet and of course, you’re not happy about it. You’re not just unhappy, you’re angry. Perhaps it’s actually hanger, but either way you best prepare for the diet-induced rage.

I was angry I had let myself get so out of shape, angry when my husband would enjoy a piece of pizza right in front of me, angry I had to limit the food I was so in love with.

Then you get creative. You start thinking of ways to make your diet suck less. Maybe that’s “cheat” meals or days, maybe it’s calorie cycling, whatever – you quest for an escape to make dieting more bearable.

I came up with something genius! I decided I would sacrifice my soul and run for hours each week. Stay with me, because here comes the clever bit. In exchange, I could eat anything my little heart desired. Why no one had thought of this before was beyond me, and as a sneaky grin crept across my face, I ran. And I ran and ran and ran. I ran a half marathon…and gained 3 pounds.

4. Depression.

I want to slap the person that said “You can’t outtrain a bad diet.” That’s just rude. Unfortunately, it’s also annoyingly true. So true, in fact, you resign yourself to respect it, which makes you feel borderline hopeless.

As you sit down to eat your sad little packed lunch, with its 45-calorie bread and bag of carrots, you see everyone around you chomping on cheeseburgers and fries without a care in the world. That’s when the depression really hits hard. Typically around day two of your diet. No, I take that back – it usually strikes by lunchtime the first day.

You just have to push through the disappointment, and be prepared to keep pushing throughout your weight loss journey.

I wish my emotions weren’t directly tied to my food choices, but they certainly are. Making nutritional choices that support weight loss never gets easier, but it does become less soul-crushing. Your willpower strengthens with use, and your expectations tend to become more realistic with time.

5. The upward turn

You start seeing the initial, albeit teensy, fruits of your labor. You’re downright giddy, imagining the body you will have in a few short months. After-all, look how quickly you got these results? You start thinking dieting isn’t so bad. While smirking, you think “I will get to stop all this madness anyway when I hit my goal in a few more weeks.” (HA! You won’t ever really get to quit, but you will figure that out too…eventually,)

But beware! That’s when depression pops up again. Over the next couple weeks of hard work and consistency you may not lose a single pound – you might even gain one or two. Depression creeps back in, and you’ll feel like giving up. Don’t quit or you will be right back at stage 1 when you try again next month. Things are about to look up for you, all you have to do is keep going.

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6. Reconstruction and working through

Your brain starts working again, and you realize you’re proud of the changes you’re making, even though the scale is being stubborn. You know if you keep going, you WILL eventually see results. The only option for you is to continue trying to lose weight…but the weight loss road you are on is too hard. Quitting is not the answer. Instead, you must pivot.

You strengthen your resolve and find a way to continue going forward by tweaking your weight loss approach. Eventually, you discredit the dieting myths you have always believed, and find what works for you. You tailor your methods to your specific needs, creating a path to your goals that you can stick with long term. It was in this stage that I read this book, and it gave me the direction I needed.

I’ve had to “pivot” countless times over my weight loss career. By far the most successful move I ever made was in February of this year when I finally created sustainable habits. My new weight-loss method is eating 1800-2000 calories a day, everyday. I’m down 16 pounds with Noom, and weight loss has never fit more seamlessly into my life. It’s a no-brainer to keep going.

7. Acceptance and hope.

Now you are in your groove! Your motivation might have dissolved a bit, but it has been replaced with something much more powerful, and much less fleeting. Discipline. You accept that, in order to reach your goals, there will be sacrifice. Now you understand that you will be uncomfortable at times. You might still toy with the idea of quitting, but just for grins. After all, you have come too far to only come this far.

Here you are relaxed and feel secure with where you are in life, because you accept who you are right now. You have goals and happily take steps toward them, rather than begrudgingly trudge along. Sit back and enjoy the ride now, friend, because you have found CONSISTENCY. Your future is full of hope and weight loss success! It is simply a matter of time until you reach your goals.

The stages of Weight loss and the stages of grief are eerily similar.

I actually grieved for the parts of me I thought had to die during my own weight loss journey. Until I realized I could still be a foodie and lose weight. I can still eat delicious, non-“diet” foods and reach my goals. You can too!

I have emerged on the other side of the dieting process as a new, improved version of myself. And I like it.

If you need support with your weight loss journey, join Mom’s Kids. It is run by someone who understands how you feel 100% – ME. Hope to see you there.

What about You?

Does this resonate with you? What has your experience with dieting been? Let me know in the comments, and follow me on Patreon as my weight loss journey continues.