I Found Food Freedom Counting Calories

The fact that I’ve lost weight by counting calories is probably the most ironic thing to ever happen in my life. Even more ironic is how counting calories led to food freedom. For over a decade I refused to count calories because it felt too restrictive. Every time I attempted to lose weight by counting calories, I’d inevitably get overwhelmed with logging every single bite that went into my mouth…and lose nothing.

Not to mention, I was starving, miserable, and found it impossible to fit what I wanted to eat into my 1200 calorie daily limit. (Now I know better than to just eat a measly 1200 calories in a day, but back then that was the magic weight loss number.)

I always gave up fairly quickly and waved the white flag of diet defeat. Discouraged, I resigned to the idea that calorie counting was not for me and definitely not something I could keep up with long term.

But I still wanted to lose weight, I just didn’t want to count calories.

Knowing that was possible, I looked at my options. There’s keto, but giving up carbs and sugar…no thanks. Intuitive eating was also a choice…but given my extensive history as an overeater and lover of food, that wasn’t a viable option for me. Other options were vegan, vegetarian, low carb, south beach…the list could go on forever, and I gave nearly all of them the ol’ college try. But they were all so restrictive! Too restrictive! Cut out this, don’t eat that, blah, blah, blah.

While calorie counting restricted how much food I could eat, the other diets restricted what food I could eat. I felt I was doomed either way – I don’t function well under dietary restriction. I hope it’s clear by now that I love food and eating food too much to live like that!

That’s why I always chose Weight Watchers

For nearly a decade, I found some consistency and routine with WW (even losing 30-45 pounds…honestly I can’t even keep track anymore). I specifically chose WW so I didn’t have to count calories. Sure, there’s still tracking involved, but you don’t have to track all foods. And, I could eat those untracked foods with reckless abandon! Sounds like a win-win, right?

Well, it’s not. WW slaps their own rules on food, and assigns food a value based on a points system. The problem with that system was that after a while I started to feel like some foods became “good” and “free,” while others were “bad” and “costly.” Then it felt restrictive and not fun. I quit. It’s all about the fun here.

While I ended up quitting WW and a slew of other diets for good, I walked away from all those dieting methods with food distortions. Major food distortions that left me with an overall unhealthy relationship with food.

Food “rules” entered my life based on nothing!

Carbs are bad, sugar is poison, lean meat is best, actually no meat is better, eat low fat, actually eat nothing but fat… and on and on. My head felt like it might explode from all the advice and contradiction, but worse than that, these diets had shaped how I perceived food in general. My entire mind was infected, and I didn’t even know it.

I would label certain foods as “forbidden” or “bad” not even being certain why. Then I’d unjustly and unnecessarily cut them completely out of my diet. This only caused me to crave these forbidden foods more and more until I got to a breaking point. The point at which I would spectacularly overindulge on what I told myself I couldn’t have.

Even subconsciously the various labels I’d placed on food affected me and my day-to-day life. Whenever I went out for ice cream with my kids, I felt guilty and like I shouldn’t eat it. If I had fried food, I’d feel bad and like my entire day was shot. The negative effects of dieting are deep-rooted, and linger long after the diet is over.

What even is “Healthy” anyway?

These “nutritionists” are out there, pushing this way of eating or that, but they are all saying something different. They use and present science to back up their claims, but the “science” is lacking and manipulated to support their desired conclusion. Vegans can “scientifically” prove they are going to live forever at the same time that people who follow the keto diet will use a biased, non peer-reviewed study to “prove” how healthy it is.

Studies aren’t always credible, and they have their limitations. Unfortunately, all the research available can be confusing and misleading, making it next to impossible to know what and who to trust.

That’s where I found myself a year ago.

I was fresh off a short-lived attempt at being a Vegan, between WW stall outs, and had absolutely no idea which direction to go from there. Honestly, I wasn’t looking for the cure for every sickness in the world or to be healthy as a horse, I was just trying to lose a little weight. Cut me a break, people!

Impressed with my friend’s results, I reached out for calorie counting help and advice. She completely blew my mind when she suggested I count and eat between 1800-2000 calories – a day! – just to see what happened. I was skeptical and scared, but went for it because really, what did I have to lose? I mean, nothing else was working anyway! So, I followed her advice, and HAPPILY lost 20 pounds last year alone.

Same shirt, 4 years later. P.S. This is more than 20 pounds lost, I just like this picture. ha!

But here’s the really cool part. There was an unintentional side effect of counting what I initially thought to be an absurd amount of calories for all those months. A little something called food freedom.

This is what I’ve Realized

In the beginning, I still labeled foods as good or bad, albeit unintentionally. For instance, I would measure out a large bowl of ice cream while, in the back of my mind, feeling like I was doing something “wrong.”

But to my surprise, upon logging, I discovered a decent size bowl of ice cream does not take up a whole days worth of calories like I’d assumed. I only assumed this from my experiences in the past because on WW, ice cream squandered a full day’s worth of points! My diet would feel blown, so my attitude would be to keep the free-for-all going.

I mean, I could eat ice cream on WW, but it was so hard to fit into my day. To work ice cream into my life, I’d have to deprive myself of any and all food I loved for a week leading up to the ice cream indulgence. I also had the enticing option of forcing myself to workout above and beyond my usual exercise routine to “earn” my ice cream. Or the super fun choice of eating nothing but zero point foods the rest of the day in order for eating the ice cream to be “okay.” Actually I guess I could’ve eaten a normal size bowl of ice cream…hmmm…that never crossed my mind. Moving on…

This way of eating and tracking didn’t feel “free” to me.

It felt like a lot of fancy, stressful maneuvering to eat “fun” foods from time to time. I paid a hefty price for the ability to eat the foods I loved: deprivation. Constant deprivation never brought me satisfaction, even when I managed to “make it work.” When the ice cream was gone, I’d still feel frustrated.

Prior to calorie tracking, on the other diets (besides WW), I would never even have taken the time to actually measure my portion of ice cream. Because on those diets ice cream was “bad,” and I couldn’t possibly eat it and make any progress. When I could no longer resist it, I would go completely crazy on the forbidden food in an attempt to “get it outta my system.” Which, of course, never actually worked.

Enter Counting 1800-2000 Calories

Until I discovered calorie counting, and tested the absolute limit of how many calories I could eat and still successfully, consistently lose weight. After a while of logging everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly – I realized I could eat pretty much anything I wanted… as long as I stayed within my goal calorie range. No need to worry about points, sugar, carbs, fat, grains, meat, dairy, or anything else out there. I blocked out the noise, and simply logged my calories day after day.

As I did so, something amazing happened – the labels ingrained in my mind by diets and society that I’d always assigned to food started to fade away. Then one day, I realized food is just food. It’s not good or bad, forbidden or allowed. Different foods simply fuel my body, or soul, in different ways, and it all has a place and purpose in my life.

When I leveled the playing field, and stopped putting some foods up on a pedestal and others down in the gutter, the temptation and power food had over me lessened. The desire to have a bowl of ice cream lost the control it had over me when I knew I could eat it everyday. And I can eat it everyday…but I don’t. Why not? Because there is no uncontrollable craving forcing me to anymore. When I want it, it will be there. No heartache or guilt required. It’s as simple as that.

Where I’m at now

Now a year into calorie counting, I log my food not only for weight loss purposes, but for the freedom that comes with it. Like I always say in Kids, “food in calorie tastes better than food over calorie.” Because it’s true. If I can happily eat what I want and reach my goals with calorie counting…why wouldn’t I? I like the feeling of being in control of my food, without my diet having control of my life.

I have certainly taken breaks from logging calories here and there, and it went swimmingly. But at this point in my life, I’d much rather log my days so nutritious and “fun” foods can fit together in perfect, weight loss harmony. This is way better than going rogue and hoping it turns out all right.

I feel peace living like this and, for the first time in my life, I truly understand food freedom. Oddly enough, budgeting calories and imposing limits on the foods I enjoy has brought me this new found freedom. Who would’ve thought? Guess all the “moderation and balance” stuff out there has some merit.

Now…what about you?

If you need some help getting started with calorie counting, shoot me an email or check out Mom’s Challenge. Maybe you are already logging your food, but without the support you need to really succeed. Don’t try to tackle your weight loss and fitness goals alone any longer! Join my weight loss community where we eat what we want, and have way too much fun in the process. Finally, follow me on Patreon if you’d like to learn more about my day to day diet life, and anything else that pops into my head. Let me help you find your own food freedom!