My Weight Loss Story: Part 1

Part 1

The Beginning

I have been overweight most of my life. In my head, if I had to nail down the date when I realized I was bigger, it was in 2nd grade. There was nothing scarring about me being overweight; no one made fun of me, my parents didn’t slap me on diets or call me fat, and I didn’t hate myself or feel sad. It was more like a presence in my life, just knowing I was overweight and uncomfortable in my clothes.

I was overweight in the later years of elementary school and beyond, and I did nothing to change it. That is until my Junior year of high school. The turning point is kinda hilarious now that I think about it. I bet no one else had this weight-loss trigger.

The Turning Point

My parents were out of town, and I was home watching the Winter Olympics while eating Doritos. (hahahahaha!) It occurred to me (halfway through the family size bag of chips) while watching the agile skiers, that I was not in good shape. The skiing looked fun, but I wouldn’t be able to ski well in the shape I was in at 204 pounds. So I set the chips down, called my dad and said, “Dad, let’s start running together when you get back.” He said sure, and so my fitness journey began. I was 16, it was 2002.

For the next year and a half, I ran 3-5 miles/5 days a week with my dad. I would pack my lunch instead of eating school food, only drink one 12 oz soda a day, and not eat after 8. That was it, guys, I basically made that diet up.

It wasn’t really that hard. Except I do have a vivid memory of feeling extremely deprived one time when I refused to participate in an eight o’clock pm goldfish snack my brother was having. Ha! The weight came off consistently and slowly, and a year and a half later, I was down 40 pounds. 164 pounds has always been a comfortable weight for me, so I maintained it pretty easily through college.

The Middle

Except when I fell in love my Junior year of college, and that guy (now husband I lovingly refer to as #poorjames) introduced me to all kinds of frozen junk food I’d never had before. My running took a backseat to gazing into his sea-green eyes, and I promptly gained 10 pounds.

Then we graduated college, and my first very stressful job got me another 10 pounds added back on. We got married in 2007 when I was 185 pounds. Life stresses continued to be handled by stress-eating and reducing my exercise, and before I knew it, I was back at my all-time highest weight: 204 pounds.

It was 2010 at the height of my weight that I became pregnant, and I braced myself to see the scales climb sky-high the next 9 months. Only they didn’t.

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Baby weight

Around 8 weeks into my first pregnancy, I started puking. I continued to puke until at 7 months my doctor prescribed Zofran. I gave birth after gaining a mere 16 pounds, and left the hospital below my starting weight. That head start on weight loss gave me loads of hope that I could get back down to 164 pounds. I joined WW, started running again, and a year and a half later I was back down to goal! Nice.

But then I got pregnant 2 years after my first kid, and gained it all back. I gave birth at 220. Well, my mental state at this point was much less enthusiastic about losing, but I knew what I needed to do; I joined WW again. This time their program had changed, and I hated it. (Its changed yet again, only I love the options now). Despite failing the program constantly, I got down to 185 pounds before becoming pregnant with our last kid when our second kid was just 16 months old.

I had a healthy appetite, to say the least, that pregnancy, and I gave birth at 233 pounds. I was definitely uncomfortable, so I knew that losing weight this time would be a priority. After giving birth to my last kid in February of 2016, I was hopeful that I would instantly be down 20 pounds. I eagerly stepped on the scale when I came home to discover I had only lost 13 pounds. Great!

Then, to my horror, at my 6 week check up, I discovered I was only down an additional 7 pounds. At my 6 week check-up, I expected to at least be at my previous all-time high: 204. The thought of that weight didn’t scare me. When I discovered I was 213, I remember looking at the scale and thinking, “Oh crap…this is gonna be hard.”

It was more than hard, it’s been epic

My weight loss journey is still ongoing, and I have made a lot of progress. It has been a long, winding road where I have failed and failed and failed. To my shock in all that failure has been brilliant weight-loss success, learning, and growth. This is the part I can’t wait for you to read (sneak peak: it involves WW, Noom, but most importantly: this book). But before I share the link, I have to say a few things about what being overweight has meant to me.

On growing up overweight

I must say it: growing up overweight was nothing but a blessing in my life. I realized this a few years ago while feeling sorry for myself because it occurred to me that I’d been trying to lose weight OVER half my life. So many of the greatest things in my life came from being overweight. It protected me from being popular with the boys at a young age (young meaning high school to me…ha!) I’m not sure I got asked to a single dance, I went anyway, escaped all the drama, and had the time of my life.

Instead of changing myself with each boyfriend, I remained single through high school and developed my personality. To this day, I’ve never experienced real heartbreak because the shallow guys weren’t interested in a pudgy girl. I was funny because that’s what often happens when you are bigger, you entertain people.

My personality grew, and I became confident even though I still hated the extra weight. By the time I met James, I knew who I was. I thank being 204 for that because it gave me the gift of being single in my formative years.

There is Hope when you are overweight (and it isn’t just getting skinny)

I’m saying this because I get defensive when people act like life is better, or you are more successful or attractive, if you get skinny. I feel defensive of it because being overweight isn’t bad; it made me who I am. There is nothing more attractive than a good personality, being able to laugh at yourself, and being kind to others. These have become my superpowers, and I acquired them all as an overweight girl. For that, I am thankful for all those overweight years of my youth.

There is so much more to life than being thin or at a certain weight. If you are reading this, and you are young, don’t waste your time being sad. The trial of extra weight builds great character. If you put your mind to it, you will lose weight, but don’t lose your life in the process. The same applies to everyone at every age. Now, here’s Part 2.

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